I’m just now realizing that it’s worth so much to prevent meltdowns.

I’m finally feeling like I have some control of the situation and how the day goes. I had to open myself to any possibilities, that she might need me to go to the store or take her places and things like that.

I accepted that I will do my best to accommodate her with all those demands to allow her to feel safe, even if it means I will be inconvenienced, and I will have to change the way I do things and be very flexible with my other demands, such as running errands.

 I walked into her room and usually she’s on the phone with her friends and she tells me to leave or stop bothering her, but today she told them, hey you all it’s my mommy! Her favorite thing to do is lay by me on the couch and watch her favorite shows.

I think in my head, the loss of autonomy for me was so difficult that I fought with her to maintain control, it was all a power struggle. I resisted her tendencies of ‘bossing me around’ because it’s only normal to want to feel in control as an adult and as a parent.

But I realized that it makes me feel useful to help my daughter, and I’m starting to feel a bond between us.

I’m helping her.

- "C.M."