My son has a “tradition” where, after everyone has finished their Thanksgiving dinner, he asks to go get McDonald’s.  This came out of Thanksgiving 2019, when he was in 2nd grade and, apparently, in his class, they talked a lot about the traditional Thanksgiving meal, and he got really excited to eat all the things they had talked about.  He was always a very “picky” eater - likely ARFID, although I didn’t know much about that at the time.  He had never really eaten anything offered for Thanksgiving dinner in the past, so I was pleasantly surprised at his excitement. 

He asked for everything to be put on his plate.  And he dove into his meal. About 5 minutes later, I noticed he was crying silently, and I asked him what was wrong.  And he tearfully told me he had been so excited to eat everything; everyone had told him how good it all was - and he didn’t like any of it.   Then he put his head down on the table and just sobbed.  

Honestly, looking back on that, my heart still breaks for him. I think it was really the first time in his life that he was able to give me some insight into how HARD it is to be him.  I think parents often forget about that - I know I do. He’s always been a very frustrating person - inflexible, oppositional, argumentative…. And I always thought it was just him.  It was just his personality, or that he just wanted to be difficult. That was when I first realized how different his perspective on things truly I was (is). And in that moment, I just wanted to make him feel better, so I suggested we find an open McDonalds and get him a happy meal, and he was so shocked that I had suggested such a thing (maybe I’m a bit inflexible, too!). 

 Of course, we did it once, so we’ll have to do it forever now.  

He’s actually doing a lot better now with eating different foods.  This year he ate turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy.  He even tried some other things that he previously didn’t like, and said they were “okay.”   But he still had to have his McDonald’s afterwards.  And every year it reminds me of that day that he gave me my first little glimpse into his mind and the challenges of being him.  It reminds me each year to pause and remember that underneath all the challenges, that sad little boy who’s struggling is still there, and I want so desperately to help him be less uncomfortable in this world.

- Anonymous Parent