Submission by Jewel Magadan Gonzales

I have a PDA son. I struggle with him still, and he’s 17. 

I believe I was a PDA child. My birth mom gave me away, then my Godmother couldn’t handle me, so ultimately my great-grandmother ended up informally adopting me.

As a child I was called hateful by my aunts and I have to say that I really was an extremely difficult child. Back then in the 80s, people didn’t know about autism, or gentle parenting. I don’t know how my mom (great-grandma) survived raising me, let alone how she was able to parent me with such amazing compassion.

She did, though. And while I had my struggles, I grew up to be a very empathetic individual. I’m working on degree #2 and applying for grad school currently. I run a community health non-profit.

My mom died when I was 29 or 30, but the love she showed me as a child carried me through the hardest times, even after her death.

As a mom of a PDAer, it sometimes feels like my son will never get better, but I remind myself that I made it because my mom raised me with love. She never hit me. She always encouraged me. She told me that it was okay if no one understood me, and told me to continue to trust my own instincts. I wouldn’t be where I am today without all of that unconditional positive regard and support.

 So I just want to encourage you, that when it feels like things are impossible- sometimes you couldn’t possibly imagine the end result by the way things look now, but your love and encouragement matters to your PDA child.

My mom didn’t live long enough to see the fruit of all of her sacrifices, but she did live long enough to see me get to the point where I recognized the sacrifices she made for me.

Keep on going. You’re doing a great job just by being here and doing your best to understand your child.

Jewel's nonprofit will introduce the Rebecca Picazo Hernandez scholarship in her mother's honor