While there is an addictive quality to many games, as an advocate we try to de-stigmatize the devices and recommend that instead investigate what is fueling addictive behavior, especially since simply removing or severely restricting screens can lead to more PDA triggers around lack of control.

Because of the polarizing nature of screens, in any groups I lead we will typically delete comments that suggest parents solve screen struggles by removing devices completely. Without knowing what resources a family has access to, this advice damages the parent/child relationship, and it's that relationship which is paramount to supporting PDA healing and long-term safety needs.

Recognizing Neurodivergent differences

Neurodivergent and PDA children often rely on screens to help cope with life stressors. This means their screentime is likely going to be higher than neurotypical children who are not as stressed by mainstream demands (schooling, socializing, not sufficient enough time to rest).

There are a number of reasons why PDA kids in particular can be more drawn to screens, such as how devices provide unstructured freedom, imaginative play, and less stressful ways to interact with peers. Screens provide a way to explore the world in a low demand way.

Historically parents are shamed for not properly controlling screen time. We've seen that shame create a pressure-filled atmosphere and increased expectation for the parents which then funnels stress into the parent/child relationship.

We instead suggest a troubleshooting approach by asking yourself questions like:

✨ Is the child’s overall lifestyle suited to PDA/neurodivergent needs? If not, primarily focus your energy there first

✨Is your child trying to recover from burnout (increased screens during this time is common). Burnout is not a good time to try to build new skills.

✨ Are the parental expectations around screens fueled by fear that then compels your child(den) to "resource guard". 

✨ Are there low-pressure and safe outlets available for your child(ren) to engage with that help with emotional regulation, such as unstructured and safe play outdoors?

✨ Are there other low demand/low pressure options of alternative activities indoors to engage with such as strewing games or crafts?

✨ Are there triggers around a particular game or app that trigger distress with invasive ads and questionable content? Can you find a replacement app or game?

Screen-time Benefits

Viewing screens as an opportunity to engage with our kids in their special interest is one way to reconnect with struggling kids. When we join them we provide partnership on their home turf.

Remember: The goal is *not* that our children are on devices 24/7, it is about finding ways to find balance centered around supporting their disability needs.