Summary
“Low Demand Parenting” is a style of parenting structured around meeting children where they are at.
.
For PDA children demands come in all shapes and sizes, from the obvious ones (i.e. “go do this now”, “do your homework”) to the subtle (our body needing to eat, sleep, use the bathroom, making decisions independently) making mainstream life easily overwhelming.
Low demand--in essence--means dropping the demands that are less essential to make room for the demands they can’t avoid. It is creating a safe place for a sensitive nervous system so that children aren't chronically overwhelmed and therefore can better learn skills at an pace adjusted to their needs.
PDA might be a lifelong disability for some, but in Low Demand children are offered the best chance of learning how to support their needs into adulthood and reduce the odds of developing PTSD, chronic health issues, addictions, or personality disorders.
Families report success by:
(Education)
- having an IEP in place that allows more flexible attendance and participation.
- withdrawing their children from public school for months/years of rest and recouperation
- switching from public school to homeschool so that they can offer better flexibility
- switching to the Unschooling model where kids learn skills by pursuing their natural interests
(home life)
- forming collaborative relationships with their children to figure out what goals they work on next
- dropping societal expectations that don't cause longterm harm, like allowing different mealtimes, or longer stretches of time between bathing
- offering to help with toothbrushing, dressing
- allowing more access to regulating activities like devices during burnout
Further Reading
Books
Low Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman
The Explosive Child by Ross Greene
The Declarative Language Handbook by Linda Murphy
Blogs
"Redefining Boundaries in Low Demand Families" Amanda Diekman
Paid and Free Courses: